Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
