New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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