a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sober January is a disaster.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
