as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
