I cut my penus on the lid.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
