Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
