If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
