THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
