Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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