I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
