so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
