after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
