Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
