Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
