He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
