Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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