Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
