You're so nebulous sometimes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
