I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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