whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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