You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My penis needs a shock collar
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
