is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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