Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Rumble strips road head = magical
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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