Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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