I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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