The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize