I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
