Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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