what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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