if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
