His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
