At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My dick has a subreddit
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
