Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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