Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
