But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
