She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
