i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
