ugly people sure do ruin things
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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