woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
