mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
