I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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