It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
