Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
