I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
