a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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