Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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