adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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