he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
