Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
