Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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